Don't Turn Around, I Don't Want You Seeing Me Cry
by The Lady Gen
Summary: As the danger of the war grows, Hermione must remain strong while she picks up the shattered pieces of her heart that Severus left. As an Auror, she is trained to fight and face danger, but who will save her from herself?
1. Chapter 1

Hermione watched as Severus Snapes's robes billowed around his shapely legs, before seating himself rigidly into a chair. It was nine o'clock pm, to be precise. On a Thursday night, at Grimauld place. The table that Hermione was sitting at, with said sneering potions master, was filled to the brim with parchments and quills. Stray maps and books were scattered about, surrounded by small hovering candles which gave off bright light. A fire was roaring in a stone hearth nearby, making the room warm and cozy.

Not only was the table packed full of objects, but its surrounding perimeter was also jam packed with people. Almost everyone in the Order had shown up at the request of Dumbledore. Minerva Mcgonagall was sitting stoically strait backed in her chair, glaring at her colleague Fillius Flitwick who was twirling his wand and making the candles change colors and emit glittering sparks as they levitated around the table. Snape got his shoulders covered in glitter when one candle became too enthusiastic. With a silent swish and flick of his wand, the candle stopped short in midair and gave way to the floor with a thud. Flitwick glanced up from his wand ministrations and gave Severus an apologetic look. Severus scowled. Minerva rolled her eyes and tried not to laugh.

Remus Lupin sat morosely in the corner, gazing absently at his hands.The only window in the room was beyond him, and the dark night sky framed his melancholy mood. He looked so sad and lost, sitting there in that hard backed wooden chair while snowflakes swirled outside behind him. Hermione caught his eye, and the two gazed at each other for a quick moment. Hermione was the first to blush and then look away. Remus gave her a thoughtful glance and then returned to gazing at his hands.

Nymphadora, who was sitting a few chairs across from Hermione, gave the two a cool stare. Hermione felt the color rise to her face, before she turned her honey colored eyes at the woman. There was a bit of a staring contest before Tonks backed off with a shrug. Inwardly Hermione sighed. These past few months, her and Remus had been working closely together researching the possible locations of Voldermort's hidden Horocruxes. It had been exhausting tedious work, with little hope of success. But Hermione found Remus Lupin a pleasant man to work with.To her delight, she found that his mind worked in a similar way to her own. He was also very kind and considerate, readily giving her praise for her insight and encouraging her when she felt that they were getting nowhere.

Remus was the warmhearted man Hermione knew as a teacher, and she began to treasure their hours together. But this was strictly on a friend bases. Hermione was well aware of the attachment that Tonks had for Remus, and she respected it, even if it seemed a bit one sided. Hermione was no man stealer and would have despised herself knowing that she was the other woman.

"It's time the meeting came to order" Harry called out from his seat, " I believe that everyone is here." Several heads nodded in agreement.

"Dumbledore will not be here tonight. He is called away on other business" Harry explained to the table.

"What business is that?"called out Tonks. Her hair changed colors impatiently. The warm room was stifling to her and the looks that Granger gave Remus annoyed her to no end. She just wanted to be away from this place where she could gather Remus to herself and maybe they could spend some time together...grow closer.She could coax him to eat and bathe. They could talk of pleasant things, not the war. "Its time I got him away from the books" she mused to herself.

"Its his business. You know Dumbledore" Harry shrugged. Tonks tugged on her hair impatiently.

"Fine then lets get on with the meeting, shall we?" Hermione said cheerfully, aware of the tension that was building up. The back of her head was beginning to tingle, a sure sign of a migraine to follow. She rubbed the back of her head wistfully, thinking of the headache potion that lay upstairs in her things. She tended to get migraines a lot these days. With the stress of the war and the pressure of the constant research, everything was getting to her. Normally, Hermione had a lot of emotional restraint, but the stress was wearing her down, and the looks of deadly intent that Tonks kept shooting her way were getting on her last nerve. It wasn't only tonight that Tonks had seemed especially malicious, it was all the weeks following up to this meeting. Ever since she and Remus had increased the hours that they worked together researching the Horocruxes, Tonks had become extremely hostile. She spoke scathingly of Hermione to others when her back was turned. She feigned clumsiness and sent Hermione's books and notes sprawling. Throwing herself into Remus's confused arms, she innocently asked Hermione to forgive her clumsiness. Hermione had looked at her with a bewildered expression and nodded, and then, acting like nothing was wrong, she went to pick up the messes, completely missing Tonks underlying message.

Remus had come to her afterwards with apologies for Tonkse's behavior, but she shrugged him, saying it was fine. She understood. Stress...the war. Everything falling to complete shambles. Complete and utter shambles.

_"Severus"_ Hermione's mind whispered. Hermione shook her head violently.

"Got a tick, Hermione?" Tonks asked sweetly. Everyone at the table was looking at her as the conversation came to a halt. For the life of her, Hermione couldn't say what they were suppose to be dsicussing.Probably something about the dammed war.

"Hmmm...uh yes. I mean no... I don't have a tick. What a silly question!" Hermione tried to laugh it off. Harry and Ron gave her concerned looks. Remus leaned forward in his chair and was giving her a concerned look as well. Severus snorted and looked impassive as always.

"Granger is fine. Can we please get on with it?" Severus drawled, tapping his long slender fingers on the table. Hermione straightened up in her chair and told her mind to shut up and listen. For the sake of the Gods and her sanity.

"As I was saying...according to the research, we may have found one of the Horocruxes. Its hidden in a cave, much like the one where Dumbledore and I found the fake locket of Slytherin. The wards protecting this place are very powerful, set by Voldermort himself. The magic is believed to be very personal and identity locked. It seems that Voldermort entrusted that this particular Horocrux would remain untouched for all time. He never wanted it disturbed. " Harry looked around the table as he let this last part sink in. "I am going on another separate mission and we need people, two preferably to see if there is indeed a Horocrux and retrieve it so that it may be destroyed. If it weren't for my mission I would be tempted to go, but even Dumbledore is not sure that being what the magic is...how it would respond to me."

"How dangerous is this mission?" Minerva asked.

"Extremely dangerous. Therefore I am giving you all till tomorrow to decide if you are willing to go.Its probably best though if two Aurors went. You may be up to defending yourself against dark creatures who may be guarding the cave. That leaves us Ron, myself, Shaklebolt, Moody, Tonks and Hermione of course. This is a fiercely dangerous mission and I recommend only those with DADA training attempt this."

"Constant vigilance!" Mad-eye Moody croaked knowingly. Harry nodded grimly.

"Exactly."

Hermione cradled her head in her hands. The migraine was building momentum. Soon the nausea and room spinning would begin. She grimaced. Severus watched her with narrowed eyes.

"I think this meeting is finished Potter" Severus sneered, "Unless you have more enlightening news you wish to share. No? Then gives us the pleasure of thinking over your well thought suggestions and leave it for tomorrow." Harry glared at Snape.

"Right everyone. Tomorrow we will decide who is going to go. I can't stress enough how dangerous this mission is." Harry looked around the room one last time before wearily adjourning the meeting. Soon there were sounds of wood scarping the floor as chairs were pushed back and people exited the room. Tonks trotted over to where Remus still sat. She kissed him on the cheek and asked him some questions in a low voice. Remus shook his head wearily and Tonks looked disappointed and as she walked away from him and out the door. She gave him one last lingering look and then left, slamming the door hard on her way out.

Hermione gave a start and a small groan and she uncradled her hands from her forehead.

"All right, Hermione?" Remus asked kindly.

"Fine" Hermione managed in a hollow voice. The pain was beginning to get to her. "I think I will turn in. Good night Remus" she said as she got up unsteadily from her chair and began to blindly walk upstairs to her room. The pain in her head was affecting her vision and Hermione saw flashes of orange light swirl before her. She could barely make out any shapes in front her, but Hermione knew the house like the back of her hand and was assured in her ability to reach her room in a blind state. Just as she was about to head up the stair case, a hand shot out of nowhere and pulled her.

"We need to talk" Severus hissed.

"Can't this wait, Severus?" Hermione asked tiredly. Severus didn't answer her as he dragged a blind Hermione to the kitchen. With a deft flick of his wand he warded the door and placed a silencing ward on the room.

"Your impudence never ceases to surprise me Miss Granger" he snarled into her face. Hermione inwardly sighed and resisted the urge to knock his lights out the good old fashioned muggle way. "Hardly do we separate then you endear yourself to that mangy animal! I see the sincerity in the affection that you claimed you held only for me. I see now that my initial estimation of you was right. You are just a sniveling school girl."

"I am not a sniveling school girl" Hermione told him in a calm even tone. Severus looked at her and then there was a long pause.

"I see. Is that the best you can do or say? Really Miss Granger, I expected better" Severus sneered, lowering himself into a chair.

"I have a headache" Hermione told him. "And this is not the time. You had your chance Severus. I presented you with the golden opportunity to have your say. Its been months now, you do realize that?

"Tell me that you don't miss me! Go on say it Granger, tell me that you don't want to be with me!" Severus's pale color grew paler with emotion.

"I would be lying if I said I didn't want to be with you. But we both know thats impossible. You were the one that pushed me away first Severus. You said it was too dangerous.. You said I was a burden."

"I never said that!" Severus hissed. "But don't you see if the Dark Lord knew, or even knows now of you and the role that you play in my life..."

"We are all in danger Severus. Do not forget that I am Harry Potter's best friend and thus a prime target for Death Eater attacks. Do you think our little romantic interlude would tip the scales all that much?"

"Of course it would you silly twit!" Severus said with a grimace.

"Then whey are you here?" Hermione asked wearily, a tear catching in her eye, "Why do you torment me Severus?"

"You know that I would never willingly cause you pain Hermione" Severus pleaded, jumping up from his chair and rushing to comfort Hermione.

"I can't do this" Hermione whispered as Severus cradled her against him. "You can't toy with me anymore Severus. Its not fair for both of us..."

"I understand" Severus said, stroking one of Hermione's honey colored locks.

"Then..." for a moment Hermione's pain lifted and she felt a surge of joy go through her heart, "You will stay and we can be together?"

"No"

Hermione jumped away from him. "What?" she gasped. 


	2. Chapter 2

"I mean no" Severus said, withdrawing his arms.

"What the bloody hell!" Hermione spluttered.

"I mean what I said Miss Granger. It is impossible for us to be together at this moment in time, perhaps at another..."

"I can't believe you are saying this" Hermione moaned, migraine returned at full blast. "Don't you realize that any of us could be dead tomorrow? I could be dead tomorrow?"

"I've taken steps to ensure that does not happen. For now you are safe living within the Order, researching..."

"I am foremost an Auror, Severus. Just because I've got a knack for reading and taking notes does not mean I am not capable. My work is my life, and taking notes and researching are only a small portion of it. I will not have my life go unlived and unfulfilled."

"Silly Gryffindor courage! Where will it lead you? To your death!" Severus face was filled with rage.

"If it does, so be it. I will not allow you to stop me from me living, Severus. Thats what Voldermort wants." Hermione's shoulders began to shake with unsaid words and unvoiced cries. She felt that if she didn't leave soon, she would lose control.

"If you want to leave, I won't beg you to stay Severus. I'm going to be strong and I'm going to be fine!" She swept past and whipped out her wand from her sleeve and took down the wards and the silencing charm. Severus stood there, watching her.

"I want you to wait for me, Hermione. I want your heart and body untouched until after the war is over."

"You are asking me to go through this dark time,not living. Not taking chances. I always believe that you should live each day to the fullest...I love you Severus. I want to be with you now. We can be careful...its possible..."

"No!" Severus roared, "He will kill you and torture you over and over with the Cruciatus until you beg to die. No, I could never live with myself..."

"You are killing me now" Hermione said with finality in her voice. She hovered by the door, her back to him. She heard Severus walk towards her, and she squared her shoulders. "Like I said Severus if you want to leave, I won't beg you to stay. Go, its better that way. Don't worry about this heart of mine."

"Don't tell me you won't miss my arms around you?" Severus said in silky voice near her ear. Hermione shook her head, cascading curls flying into his face.

"There are many things that I will miss about you, but when everything is said and done, I know that I would have missed living my life." She heard Severus walk towards the table and she knew that he had his back to her.

"Hermione" he said in a soft voice.

"Don't" she managed. Her throat was tight with tears. "Don't turn around, I don't want you seeing my cry!" Then with that said, she rushed out of the room, leaving Severus alone in the kitchen.

On her way up the staircases, she stumbled into Remus.

"Hermione!" Remus exclaimed, eying her worriedly. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face was scrunched in pain.

"Oh hello Remus" Hermione said. "Sorry to have jostled you. I have a headache and I can't see where I am going. Goodnight."

"Hermione are you alright?" Remus asked her as she tried to rush hurriedly past him. He gently grabbed her arm.

"Oh yes, I am quite fine. I just have this headache, migraine really. I just need to sleep it off and I will better than ever. " She patted his arm absently. "Sleep well" she said.

"Sweet dreams" Remus told her. He watched her form blunder in the hallway as she groped her way towards her room in the dark. He winced as she ran into a table placed in the hallway. He heard her curse.

"Alright?" Remus called out. Hermione nodded and blushed and then limping towards her room, she grasped the door hand and entered. Remus watched her with a frown. Something was wrong. Shaking his head, he told himself sternly to keep out of her business, but he couldn't help overhearing snippets of the argument that she had with Snape in the kitchen.

Remus's eyes grew yellow in the dark when he thought of Hermione's tear streaked face as she rushed up the stairs. He could smell the pain and hurt that radiated off of her. Normally he could only get a whiff of other people's emotions, but Hermione's emotions and feelings were especially strong tonight.

He knew that Hermione's pain and heartache had something to do with Severus. The Order knew a little of the relationship that they had shared, but no much. Snape made sure of that. There was some disapproval, especially from Harry and Mrs. Weasely, but for the most part it was accepted. These were desperate times, unsure times. Hermione was a lively and brilliant witch. He had the pleasure of knowing her as a student, and now that she a grown woman, he could see the potential of her mind in full bloom. He admired her for her efforts in research, knowing that she was quite capable of the work of an Auror, as Harry and Ron were doing, but she choose to stay and help him with the research.

He had wanted to say something comforting to her, but he didn't want her to know that he had overheard her and Snape's argument. He could tell that would embarrass the girl. He sighed inwardly, telling himself to stay out of it. He had his own problems to contend with, but still...that look that was in her eyes, the hurt...

"Stop it Mooney, Old boy. You are getting daft in your old age" he muttered before shutting the door to his room and preparing for sleep.

The next morning...

Hermione stumbled down the stairs. Sleep had done little to refresh her and the dull ache of the migraine clung to her like residue. It's not like she had much sleep last night anyways. For hours she had tossed and turned from the pain. The pain of the migraine and the pain of her broken heart coupled together and made it impossible to sleep peacefully. Finally in the wee hours of the morning, exhaustion overcame her, and she succumbed to a troubled sleep. She dreamed of Severus being tortured by a group of Death Eaters. When she had reached to save him, he had pushed her away.

She remembered stumbling back and then attempting to reach him again, but then he pushed her away, rougher this time, and she tumbled off a cliff, and then there was nothing.

Hermione passed the mirror without looking, and managed just to brush her teeth and pull her hair back into a loose knot atop of her head. It didn't matter to her what she looked like. Nothing mattered anymore.

She threw on a pair of casual navy blue dress robes and went down to kitchen. No doubt Mrs. Weasely was down there making a huge breakfast. Hermione hoped that she could coax a cup of tea out of her some dry toast. The thought of anything heavy made Hermione want to vomit.

"Morning Mione" Harry said as he passed her in the hallway to the kitchen.

"Morning Harry" Hermione said, feigning cheerfulness. Harry stopped in his tracks and gave Hermione a concerned look.

"Everything alright?" he asked, noticing her scargly hair and tired pallor.

"Fine" Hermione replied, "Just had a bit of a headache last night. It's gone now, but do I feel like shit." Harry smiled.

"You've been working yourself too hard Mione" he said giving her a friendly pat on the back.

"Nonsense" Hermione said. "I just hate having migraines. They are worse than being stupefied ten times in a row."

"I bet" Harry said sympathetically. "But it can't be worse than deflecting a really bad hex from a Death Eater." Harry grinned reminiscing a particular skin splicing hex that had come flying his way two nights ago.

"It can, trust me" Hermione said dryly. "About that Harry, you know the mission that you introduced to us last night. I think I would like to have a go at it." Harry was silent for a moment.

"Really Hermione?"

"Really" she said. Harry smiled.

"You were always a good one to have at your back in all the action. Of course. I will announce it tonight. I am relieved actually. I can trust this to you, I know how capable you are Hermione."

"Is Ron going with you on your mission?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah." Harry nodded. "It will be nice to see all three of us come out of this alive. But I don't doubt that you will Hermione."

"Thanks Harry. I really appreciate this. I needed an opportunity to get away from the books" Hermione gave a nervous giggle.

"Are you sure that you are alight?" Harry asked.

"Perfectly" Hermione assured him as she went past him and into the kitchen. Molly Weasely looked up from her place at the stove where she was frying some eggs in a pan. Hermione wrinkled her nose.

"Good morning Mrs. Weasely" Hermione offered.

"Good morning Hermione. Sleep well?"

"So so. Do you have any toast?" Hermione asked this carefully, praying that Mrs. Weasely wouldn't give her a loaded plate filled with all kinds of greasy breakfast food.

"Over there in the basket, dear" Mrs. Weasely motioned with her free arm to the table. Hermione sank gratefully into a chair. She was just about to reach for a piece of toast when Mrs. Weasely plopped down a loaded plate of food in front of her. Hermione gave her an uneasy smile.

"Really, Molly, I couldn't eat all of this. Its too much" she protested weakly.

"Nonsense. You are way too thin. I said the same thing to Harry this morning."

"Good morning Hermione" Remus said as he entered the kitchen. "Good morning Molly" he added.

"Good Morning Remus. Glad you are up. You can convince Hermione to eat her breakfast." Remus turned a kind eye to Hermione.

"A pleasant task" he assured Mrs. Weasely. She gave him a bright smile as she plopped down a heavily laden plate in front of him. Remus winked at Hermione.

"I wonder if Ron is up yet?" Mrs. Weasely wondered. "That boy would sleep through an earth quake if he could. I think I will go get him up. He mustn't miss his breakfast. Not that he particularly needs it" she muttered as she went out the kitchen, "That boy is a bottomless pit." Hermione laughed and Remus beamed at her.

"Feeling better?" he asked. Hermione nodded.

"Yes. Most of the pain is gone. But there is a dull ache left, nothing that I can't handle though" she said quickly.

"I have some headache potion" Remus offered. Hermione smiled at him.

"I took some last night" she informed him, "But I am afraid I had to take all of the bottle."

"Then take some of mine. Its one of my recipes. Its not great, but it should take the edge off."

"Thank you Remus" Hermione smiled at him, Remus felt something move within his heart.

"I'm surprised that you didn't ask Severus for some. His headache potions are pretty potent...Oh Gods I am a blundering idiot. I am so sorry Hermione." Hermione gave him a small smile.

"Its alright. People are going to know sooner or later." She shrugged. "I am fine Remus. Or at least I am going to be."

"If you need someone to talk to..." Remus began.

"I'll come straight to you" she assured him. "Oh my Gods," she exclaimed, looking down at her plate, "That woman could feed the entire Wizarding world."

"You need some nourishment" Remus pointed out.

"Not this much" Hermione muttered, pointing her wand at the full plate and muttering "Reducto!" She pushed her chair back from the table and reached for a dry piece of toast.

"I will stop by your rooms later for the potion Remus" she said.

"Hermione wait!"

Hermione whipped around, "Yes?"

"I was wondering if you would like accompany me to Diagon Alley? There is a book that Dumbledore asked me to look for at Flourish and Blotts."

"Yes, yes of course. I would love to get out for awhile." Hermione smiled. "Thank you Remus. I will be in my room. I need to repair one of knitted sweaters. Its been snowing all week."


	3. Chapter 3

I started this chapter before I read the last Harry Potter book, and let me say I am sorely disappointed and very much heartbroken. Therefore, I am going to change this fanfic and it will be a SS/HG fan fic in honor of my favorite character. I am still not done grieving, but perhaps this fanfic, in my mind and in the minds of others, will give some closure. It doesn't have to be a tragedy all the time. I support J.K Rowlings's work, but like Dumbledore said, the world needs a little more love.

"Thanks for the potion Remus. I am feeling so much better!" Hermione said as they walked through Diagon Alley.

"No problem Hermione. I am glad that you are feeling better. It was my pleasure." Remus said."Oh watch out! There's a puddle of slush" Remus reached out with his free arm and steadied Hermione. The other hand was holding the package of books to his chest.

"Oh thanks Remus. My feet are cold enough already without getting wet!" Hermione laughed. Remus found endearing how the falling snow caught in her hair and sparkled.

"Are you cold?" he asked solicitously.

"No more than you are" Hermione teased.

"Would like to go get a Butter Beer or perhaps some sweetened mulled wine?" Remus asked. Hermione turned and gave him a smile. Remus felt his face flush despite the cold weather.

"I would like that" she said. "Lets head for the Leaky Cauldron."

Together the pair made their way down Diagon Alley's busy street, which was bustling to the brim with harried shoppers there for the Christmas season.

Hermione was the first to enter the Leaky Cauldron. She pushed open the door and glanced quickly, searching for Severus. Sometimes he frequented there. She didn't see him and her mind gave an inward sigh of relief.

"Is here fine?" Remus motioned to a table that overlooked the busy street. Hermione nodded.

"We can watch the shoppers" she told him happily. Remus ordered mulled wine and Hermione ordered a butter beer.

"A bit of an addiction" she told him guiltily. "Ever since we were allowed Hogsmead visits in third year, I couldn't get enough of them." Remus smiled remembering the trio as a third years.

"They aren't very strong, but one time, Harry and Ron dared me to drink twelve" Hermione blushed.

"That must have been quite an experience" Remus said sagely.

"It was. I spent hours throwing up in the bathroom. I think I let some things slip to Ron and he was never the same since then." Hermione laughed mischievously.

"I can't even began to imagine" Remus said.

"I believe it was along the lines of a muggle serenade and likening Ron's hair to the brilliance of the sun."

"Mr. Weasley is one lucky guy" Remus laughed. Hermione sipped her butterbeer and looked thoughtful.

"It was Harry's dearest wish that Ron and I get together. We did for a short time, but we soon found that we weren't suited for each other."

"I see" Remus said. "Somethings, and some people aren't meant to be."

"Oh I know" Hermione said brightly, "Its just so sad and frustrating, and the time it takes to get over a disappointment."

"I'm sorry about Severus" Remus said sincerely, "I know that he has good merits despite his unpleasant demeanor, but I am still sure that he did not deserve you." Hermione shook her head.

"Its not really about whether or not he was worthy or failed to live to my expectations of what a man should be. Its..complicated" Hermione finished lamely.

"I understand that you don't want to talk about it. I am so sorry for mentioning it" Remus said quietly. Hermione gazed at him kindly.

"Oh don't be Remus" she leaned over the table and grasped his hand. "I am kinda relieved to talk about it actually. This is not something that I can bring up to Ron and Harry, or even Mrs. Weasely."

"I'm sure that they would be sympathetic" Remus assured her. Hermione shook her head. She released his hand.

"No doubt. Its just that ...well I want do Severus justice. If I talked to Molly or the boys, they would tear him to pieces and get the wrong idea. He's not like that...to me anyways."

"Then those tears I saw, where they imaginary then?" Remus asked with a frown.

"No. Its just circumstances. This is a war after all that we are going through. It's not exactly a picnic."

"We are all aware of the risks involved in this terrible time...this time of fear." Remus said. His hand itched to grasp Hermione's, but he laid it on the table and commanded it be still. Hermione sighed and her shoulders stiffened.

"Exactly. There are risks involved everywhere. None of us may get out of this alive. But still, I wish Severus... I wish that he would."

"I think I understand" Remus offered kindly.

"I don't think you do" Hermione said bitterly. "You and Tonks are together. Despite this war, you two are able to be together. I understand that this is a war, and terrible things without a doubt may happen, I just think that it would be better to get the most of every day that we are allowed to have. If I am going to get blasted to pieces by a Death Eater tomorrow, I would rather have Sev..."

Hermione let the end of sentence trail away without a finish. She picked up her bottle of Butterbeer and drained it.

"I think its getting late. We'd better go. Harry's presiding over the meeting tonight and he hates it when people walk in late."

"Yes, I think you are right" Remus said, getting up and gathering his things. He threw some coins down on the table and together they headed out into the snow.

The weather had been mild when they had set our earlier, but now it getting darker and the snow blew around them furiously. Several times, Remus had to reach out to Hermione to steady her as the snow drifts increased. Ice particles were beginning to build up in their hair and sneak into the crevices of their cloaks.

When they finally apparated in front of Grimmauld place, Hermione's hands and feet were freezing. She could not feel her nose. The two of them stumbled up the steps and Hermione nearly slipped backwards on an icy patch. Remus dropped his package to catch her.

"Oh I am so sorry Remus!" Hermione exclaimed in a nasal voice.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked as he steadied her on the step.

"Yes..." Hermione replied as the front door was opened by none other than Severus Snape. He stood at the top of the step, glaring down at them heatedly. Hermione felt that maybe her nose wasn't so frozen after all.

"Lupin" Snape said, without looking at Hermione, "You are late."

"The snow held us up Severus" Lupin said genially. He picked up his fallen package and went into the warmth of the house. Hermione followed, feeling unnerved as she passed Snape in the doorway.

"Severus" she said, as she fumbled with cold hands, trying to undo her cloak.

"Miss Granger" Snape replied, black eyes flashing. He slipped out his wand from his sleeve and pointed it at the knot, "Undecio" he muttered. Hermione's cloak fell to the floor in a wet heap.

"Come, they are waiting.." and with that he turned on his heel and left her. Hermione hung up her cloak, and then tried to cast a quick drying spell, which made her wet clothes only seem slightly damp, as if they had come out of the dryer too soon.

"Damm" Hermione muttered. She was about to cast a better one when she heard Snape's voice cut through the din of the Kitchen.

"Anytime this year Miss Granger." Severus called out in a bored voice. Hermione blushed furiously and stalked to the kitchen where she found that everyone was assembled around the table. All eyes were on her. Hermione turned rather pink again as she found her seat next to Minerva.

"All right then" Harry said. "Now that Remus and Hermione are here, I can make the announcement. It's been decided that Hermione and one other person will go ..."

"You can't be serious?" Tonks said. "I understand that Hermione is brilliant with the books, but its been ages since she's had any combat action."

"I am a trained Auror, same as you" Hermione returned, "And I think everyone here can validate that I am quite capable! It was my own decision to stay here to help with the research, but that does not mean that I am not capable of..."

"We all know what you are capable of Granger" Mad-Eye said, interrupting her rant.

"Indeed" sneered Severus.

"Then it's decided" Harry said with a small smile, trying to clear the tension in the room."Who will go with her..?" There were several nods and private whispers as people in the room considered their options. Minerva nudged Snape, who gave her a basilisk stare in return.

"I will go" Remus volunteered. Tonks looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

"I think it would be better for all around if I went to aid the girl" Severus said in a flat tone.

"Err..." Harry fumbled. He looked closely at the two men, trying to decide which one was right for the situation.

"I will go with Granger" Mad-Eye announced, stomping his great stick on the floor. His magical eye whizzed around in his head before it focused on Hermione and studied the girl.

"Alright" Hermione said weakly.

"Thats settled. You and Moody will set out tomorrow" Harry beamed serenely, deeply relieved that danger had been averted.

"Are you sure Hermione that you want to undertake this mission?" Minerva asked in a concerned tone, "I know that you are far from reckless, but the amount of danger involved.." Hermione interrupted her favorite teacher.

"I will be fine Professor. I was trained for this."

"I too agree with Minerva that this mission is extremely dangerous, and yet is is extremely imperative that you succeed. You are no use to this Order if you are dead, let alone fail to bring the Horocrux" Severus said in his impassive voice. "I cannot even to begin to cite the dangers that you are facing, the Dark Lord..."

"What are you trying to insinuate Severus?" Hermione asked icily.

"That perhaps it would be better for all those involved if someone else took this mission" Severus said simply.

"Hermione is able to do this" Remus said angrily, "I have no doubt that she will return successful."

"No doubt" Severus said calmly to Remus, "in a perfect world, Miss Granger will return unscathed, but as this is not a perfect world, I am sensible in my fears that she will be injured or even die on this mission. If this is your fondest wish for one of your former students, then by all means encourage her to go. Encourage this suicide."

"Hermione is a grown witch, and together, Her, Harry and Ron have faced more dangers than anyone at this table."

"They escaped all encounters with the Dark Lord by sheer luck and the devious thinking of Albus Dumbledore, but luck runs out and tutelage must come to an end!"

"Hermione, dear" Molly Weasely cut in, "I know that you are a trained Auror, but you are so young, perhaps Severus is right. Perhaps you should let someone else take this mission. Its far too dangerous."

"Forgive me everyone, but just bugger off, will you?" Hermione turned to Harry for back up. Harry cleared his throat.

"Uhh well. If there is anyone for the job, its Hermione. We all know that she is brilliant. The most brilliant witch of her age!"

"Many brilliant witches and wizards have died at the hands of Voldermort, Potter" Severus sneered.

"Look!" Hermione yelled, "The matter is closed I am going. I am not a sniveling school girl" she shot at Severus, "...And I don't need my parents permission to do this!" she said glaring Molly.

"There is nothing else to decide" she said stiffly, getting up from her chair, "I am going to bed. As far as I am concerned, this meeting is over." She flashed her honey brown eyes at Severus, lingering for a moment,as if she were trying to say something to him, but in the end she couldn't and left for upstairs.

"That went well" Ron offered. The were several murmurs around the room as people drew back from the table and prepared to leave.

Severus stayed in his chair, watching as Tonks dragged Lupin away. Minerva came by as she left and patted his shoulder. Severus gave no sign of noticing. His eyes stared blankly ahead. Tonight, he was lost in his memories. His memories of Hermione, coupled with his memories of Lily, Potter's mother. He remembered the way the brilliant green of her eyes had danced at him. He remembered her kind smile and sweet laugh. He thought that he could die peacefully listening to her laugh and gazing up at those beautiful green eyes.

It pained him for years to see Lily's eyes stare up at from Potter's sassy face. With the exception of Lily's eyes, Potter was the spitting image of his father. Proud and arrogant. An accident ready to happen.

Severus use to feel a wrench in his heart every time he saw Lily's eyes flash in Harry's face. He had loved her faithfully for all these years, and despite his deep hatred for James Potter, he had done everything in his power to protect the boy, Lily's child.

When Hermione had graduated Hogwarts and joined the Order, Severus began seeing her in a different light. She was no longer the annoying little know-it-all Gryffindor. She had matured into an adult, one whose honey brown eyes sparkled with as much warmth and sincerity as a pair of emerald green eyes that Severus once knew. Although, physical different, Lily had red hair and green eyes, and Hermione had brown hair and honey colored eyes, they were very much the same in temperament and character.

For instance, Hermione had always been the mediator between the two boys, the voice of reason among dunderheads. She had treated Snape politely if not with warmth and absolute respect. For his part, Snape had treated Hermione with indifference, but he was largely aware of her intelligence and cunning. He gave her some credit in maturity for having the ability to withstand Potter's hot hotheadedness and Mr. Weasely's complete lack of brains. Lily had been like Hermione. She had withstood Jame's Potter and Sirius Black's idiocy for years.

"Hermione" Severus whispered to the lone table. Then he buried his head in his hands, letting the ghosts of his past and present torment him, with brown and green eyes alike.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for all the kind reviews everyone. I am hoping this story will go over as well as my other fanfic, Labyrinth one, Forever and ever. Been having a bit of writers block for the other story, so I decided to follow my instincts and start again. Thanks a lot to Nightingale, that was really sweet of you to say. I hope you enjoy this!

Hermione listened hard to the night as she lay in her bed, facing the wall. She fancied she heard foot steps in the hallway, just outside her door. She twitched as floor boards creaked and groaned. The snow was falling silently outside, and there was no wind tonight. The light of the moon reflected off the snow, casting a soft white light that spilled into the room.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, Hermione slipped out of bed. Her bare feet glided across the hard floor boards as she went and stood at the door. She put her ear against the door and listened. She heard nothing. Getting down on her hands and knees, she peered under the door, trying to see if anyone was standing there. She blinked when she saw a shadow move. Getting to her feet quickly, she wrenched open the door.

"Severus?" she gasped. Severus stood there in the cold hallway, glaring down at her.

"Your wand!" he hissed. Hermione stood open mouthed for a bit.

"My what?" she said confusedly.

"Your wand, Granger!" Severus hissed again as he swept into the room. "You should have never answered the door without your wand, foolish girl! It could have been a Death Eater for all you knew!"

"In Grimmauld Place?" Hermione said in a bemused voice, as she securely shut the door.

"Where else? The Forbidden Forest?" he spat. "You claim that you are a trained Auror, but for one trained under Mad-Eye Moody, constant vigilance is not your forte."

"The charms placed on..." Hermione began, but Severus cut her off quickly.

"No charm is fool proof. For all your expertise in foolish wand waving, you should know that!" Severus said.

"If you are quite done with your lecture Professor" Hermione sneered, "I would like to go to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow, you know!"

"I seriously recommend that you reconsider taking this mission" Severus said in a quiet tone.

"Oh Severus! Not you too!" Hermione cried, catching Crookshanks off the floor and throwing herself on the bed.

"Who else?" snarled Severus raising his arms in anger. "Your pathetic friends are only too eager to offer you up to an excruciatingly gruesome death. "

"Oh Severus, you are being so melodramatic" Hermione said as she picked off stray fuzz from Crookshanks.

"I assure you death is not melodramatic" Severus remarked. Hermione threw Crookshanks onto the floor. "Nor is it kind and swift" he added as Crookshanks growled, "Not from the Dark Lord."

"I'm not going to battle Voldermort" Hermione said, "I''ll leave that up to Harry. I am simply retrieving a Horocrux. I don't see how this concerns you anyways Snape. Its not like we are together anymore."

"We don't have to be for me to be concerned about your safety." Severus went to stand by the bed where Hermione was sitting. She gazed at him warily.

"We all knew what kind of danger we were undertaking when we joined the Order. I am no less aware now then I was then."

"I doubt that you comprehended even then what kind of danger you were going to face" Severus said angrily.

"Was that in your mind when you asked me to be with you?" Hermione asked tearfully. "Did you think then of all the danger we would face, Severus?"

"I did not and I was a fool for allowing it to happen between us, Hermione!" Severus grasped Hermione's hand and held tight even though she tried to pull away. "I wasn't thinking!"

"Oh thanks a lot Severus" Hermione snapped. "Nice to know that all those times you said you cared about me and you were never thinking. I believe Ron would have had more tact."

"Hermione, I lost Lily because of my Death Eater activities."

"Thats just it, Severus I am not Lily. I know that you loved her and still do, but these are different times. No one is the same."

"This is still a war and there is a person out there who is currently planning the downfall of the wizarding world as we know it" Severus said grimly. He let go of Hermione's hand, "People still die, dying does not change over time. The methods grow more gruesome perhaps..."

"Then say you will stay with me, Severus. Be my protector and be close at hand" Hermione pleaded with Severus.

"I can't Hermione" Severus told her gently, "I am an expert at Occulemency, but so is the Dark Lord. Someday, I may let something slip. He will find you in my mind, and then he will find_ you._"

"So you are willing to wait for the end of the war, and god knows when that may be...you are willing to wait for me or you to be dead.." Hermione was openly crying by now.

"The war may end and both us may be alive to see it Hermione."

"But what if that doesn't happen, Severus?" Hermione had stopped crying and now her voice was a deadly calm. "What if by chance I don't return from my mission...and.."

"Thats why I am imploring you not to go, to pass it on to someone else." Hermione shook her head.

"I may have been a fool concerning all things with you, but I am not a fool in this. Harry needs this done.."

"Oh don't pretend that you are doing this _moral_ deed for the great Harry Potter!" Severus roared, not caring who heard them. "Don't pretend that this is some selfless act that you are performing for the Order. Sometimes I think that you should have been sorted into Slytherin, your actions are so two-faced. You are doing this to get even. You know this will drive me insane, deliberately putting yourself into harm's way!"

"Oh don't be such a great prat, Severus! If you think thats the reason why I am doing this then you are sorely wrong!"

"Am I?" he hissed. "I think no, Hermione." He turned around in a billow of robes and headed for the door. He he grasped the handle and wrenched it open. He gave Hermione one last silent look and then he was gone.

When she heard the door click shut, Hermione pulled Crookshanks from out underneath the bed , yowling and hissing. She held the ginger cat close and hugged him as if he were the last cat in the world.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the books, sadly J.K Rowling does. Thanks for all the kind reviews and for those who got into a snit because this is now a SS/HG fanfic, Christ on a cracker, I mean cut me some slack. It's very probable that this could still be a good story. But then again everyone is entitled to their own opinion. For the record, I will write a RL/HG fanfic, but not now. Oh and this chapter is my mom's birthday present. Muah. I love her more than she knows.

"There's a good girl" Moody coached as Hermione struggled to retain her grip on the slippery rocks. The waves were crashing against the jagged cliffs and Hermione had a hard time hearing him. Her wand was clenched in her mouth and she was using all her limbs to grip the rocks, determined not to fall into the storming sea.

"We will be there soon" Moody told her. Hermione felt relief. The cold wind was chaffing her skin and she felt frozen through. The sea shot sprays of freezing water. Hermione had cast away her traveling cloak when it had become too cumbersome to climb the rocks. It kept on snagging on things.

They would have used magic, but Lord Voldermort had put up powerful wards that deterred wizards and drained their magic. Only the simplest charms seemed to work in this desolate place. Hermione would be glad when this ordeal was over. She had initially been worried about Moody's ability to keep up and do the physical stuff they needed to do in order to reach the place of the Horocrux. She needn't have feared for Moody, Hermione noted to herself with bitterness. Even with his fake leg, he was scaling the rocks with more speed and agility than Hermione could have ever hoped to have in this lifetime.

"Grab my hand!" Moody shouted in the wind. Hermione looked up and saw that he had reached the top of the cliff and was able to swing himself over. Hermione slowly reached up to grasp his hand. Bunching her muscles she prepared to pull herself up when her foot slipped on one of the moss covered rocks.

Hermione thought that she was a goner. She saw Moody try to grab her, but he missed. At the last moment, Hermione clawed her way up like a frantic cat. Her fingernails were bloody stubs when she reached the top. Moody scowled at her. Hermione shrugged guiltily.

"Follow closely now" he growled. Hermione nodded silently. Together they walked across the top level of the cliff. Hermione noted as they walked that nothing seemed to grow up here. The ground beneath was gravely stone, not a tree stood in sight. Hermione shivered.

There was no sign of life anywhere. It would have been silent if it weren't for the roaring gush of the sea.

Moody was walking ahead of her now. He was muttering to himself and peering at the ground. He finally reached one spot and haunched over it. "This is it!" he called to Hermione. Hermione hurried over to look.

"In the ground?" she asked. Moody's magical eye whizzed.

"Aye. In the ground. Start digging. It shouldn't be far from the surface." Hermione knelt down and with her hands, starting pawing at the rough gravel. When they had been grubbing in the dirt for about a minuet, they came to a steel cover. To Hermione, it looked like a sewer cover, or perhaps a cover to one of those old fashioned wells.

It was black steel and round. The circumference looked like it just covered the width of Hermione's hips. Mad-Eye looked at her. "You are going to have to go down and get it. I'm too big to slither down there."

Hermione nodded grimly and stood up to take off her bunched up wet sweater. She needed as little weight as possible on her if she wanted to move quickly. "What do you think is down there?" she asked.

"Hard to say. But I would guess a Snake, perhaps a basilisk." Hermione's eyes widened. Moody nodded and gave a dark chuckle. "Look at the landscape around here" he said. "Reminds me a bit of Ireland but not really. You see there was some legend about some Saint or other banishing all the snakes from Ireland, but every Irish wizard will be able to tell you thats not true. Ireland was once a great breeding ground for basilisks. " Hermione shuddered.

"I'm sure you know what to do, Granger."

"I do" Hermione said calmly. She knelt on the ground and removed the lid. Inside, she could see nothing, it was a pitch black hole. She could smell stale dank air. Taking a deep breath, she lowered herself into the hole. There was no rope to grasp, instead she found that it she put her palms firmly on the walls, she could lower herself gently. She gripped the walls and kept going deeper and deeper into the hole until she couldn't see Moody or a spark of light.

She strained her ears and swore that she could hear running water somewhere. Her hands ached, and so did her sneakered feet, as they slid carefully down the harsh wall. She thought of her wand in her pocket, but she needed all of her limbs in motion as she kept going down the hole. When, and if she ever reached the bottom, she would cast Lumos.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, her feet touched solid surface. Hermione's heart gave a silent cheer. She reached cautiously into her pocket and brought out her wand. "Lumos" she whispered.. Her wand cast a hazy white light. Hermione saw that she was in a tunnel and it stretched out before her. She looked down at her feet and noted that the ground was not hard gravel, it was sand.

With small silent steps, she inched forward. Her shoes sunk slightly into the sand. She was walking quietly for about 10 seconds when her heart gave a start. It was a basilisk skin. She remembered Harry telling her about the one he had seen in the chamber of Secrets in their second year. From the looks of this one, the monster was a mature adult. Hermione reached down and searched for a pebble among the sand. There weren't that many. She finally find one. She held it in her hand and tried to transfigure it into a mirror. She felt her concentration give way and her magical energy fluttered weakly. "Damm" she muttered.

She tried again, her magical energy strained and strained and still nothing. Hermione was panicking. She knew that if she had any chance of survival she needed that damm mirror. She held the pebble in her hand and tried a third time. After a great amount of effort she succeeded. She felt a little weak after the transfiguration, but happy that she had the mirror. Holding it to her heart, she hurried along the passage.

The trickling of water could be heard more clearly now. If Hermione remembered her Care of Magical Creatures textbook, Basilisks preferred to make their nests or beds near water. That would explain why the one in the Chamber of Secrets had preferred to be near a bathroom.

As the sound of water become louder and louder and Hermione drew near, she tapped her wand until the hazy light became the faintest of glows. Her feet made no noise in the sand as she crept forward. She brought her hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp.

Ahead of her was a stone fountain of some sort. The trickling water she had heard was the fountain as it gushed water. A piercing blue light shimmered from beneath water and Hermione guessed thats where the Horocrux lay.

She willed her arm not to shake as she drew out the mirror. This was was the test of courage, she thought grimly. Having caught the reflection of a basilisk's stare in a mirror once, she was in no hurry to do it again. The trick was to look from the bottom to the top, and even then don't look straight into the eyes.

Hermione put the mirror in front of her as she stepped towards the stone fountain. She quickly glanced to her left and saw nothing there, and then she glanced to her right. She nearly dropped the mirror in shock..

It appeared to be a sleeping basilisk in a big coil. Hermione recoiled slightly. The basilisks mouth was open and it's tongue was slithered out to one side. Hermione bit her tongue and inched forward. She knew that she had to be quick and reach for whatever was in that fountain. There was no Fawkes or Sword of Gryffindor that was going to save her.

When Hermione had reached the brim of the fountain, she held her hand hesitatingly before it. The water shimmered brightly. Hermione licked her lips and gathered her courage. Already knowing that this was not going to be pretty, she plunged her hand into the water.

Agony, her mind thought. It was pure agony. Hermione scrunched up her face and stifled down her cries of pain. Her hand was burning like it was on fire. Tears streamed down her face as she hurriedly searched the pool for any kind of object. Hot pain filled seconds flashed by before her hand nudged something.

It felt like like a wand. Hermione grabbed it and fished it out of the water. Not pausing to brush off the water, she pocked it inside her sweater quickly. Walking backwards, trying hard to not make any noise, she held her breath as she crept past the basilisk. It appeared to be still sleeping. Hermione drew an inward sigh of relief. When she was once again in the dark tunnel, she didn't didn't draw her wand again and use Lumos. Instead she broke into full speed run.

Hermione felt like her heart was ready to burst. She didn't stop running until she reached the tunnel that she had crawled up. She had almost tripped on the basilisk's skin, but she scrambled to her feet with haste. She whipped out her wand and had it clenched in her teeth.

Hermione knew she had to be prepared if that thing came after her. In fact, her heart beat a little faster when she thought she heard the sand shift in the tunnel that she had just run through. Hermione gritted her teeth and prepared to climb.

Her injured hand ached fiercely, but Hermione knew that she had to keep going. Any moments delay might mean her death. Sweat beaded her forehead as she worked her way up the tunnel. Once or twice she lost her footing and she thought she would slip back below, but somehow luck seemed to be on her side again.

Hermione thought that she could see a ray of light ahead. She quickened her pace. Her body was aching and the sweat on her injured hand caused it to flare with pain, but she continued. Almost there, she thought.

Moody's hand shot out of the darkness and pulled a shivering Hermione up. His magical eye looked her over quickly.

"Are you alright?" he asked. Hermione nodded.

"Let's go" she said. Her eyes traveled back to hole where she just crawled out of. Moody nodded and had just turned his back when Hermione screamed.

It was the basilisk. It had apparently been following Hermione as she climbed out of the hole. Moody raised his wand but the snake was quicker. It sprang at Hermione, opening it's mouth wide. Hermione summoned all her magical energy and yelled "Stupify!"

The snake flailed a bit, but still lunged forward, grazing Hermione's side with one of it's fangs. Then it fell to the ground as if it were a bit dazed. Moody sprang forward and grasped Hermione around the waist.

Her eyes rolled back into her head and she was barely moving. Moody threw her over his shoulder and ran for the sea. Taking a close look at the moving water with his magical eye, he located a spot and jumped with Hermione in his arms.

The cold water revived Hermione a bit, and she struggled to swim on her own. Moody still kept a hold of her as he swam with all his might in the direction of a large rocks out into the sea.

It seemed like ages to Hermione as they swam and bobbed along in the swirling waters. Gods was it cold. Hermione wished for the tenth time that she had her cloak. Not that it would do much good, she reflected, since it would be very wet.

She was not conscious when Moody apparated them to Grimmauld Place.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I am soo happy and relieved that my story was well received. I had this chapter up and ready a few days ago,but then a mishap befell, and my chapter was sadly lost.

There was loud crack and then Moody apparated with Hermione in his arms onto the stone steps of Grimmauld place. It was still snowing outside and bits of snow caught in Hermione's hair as she lay unconscious in Mad-Eye's arms.

Bursting into the house, they set off Sirius's mother. She screamed curses until someone shut her up. Moody hurried into the kitchen, where the Order was convened around the table. There was a loud collective gasp when Moody stalked in carrying a limp Hermione.

"Good gracious!" Minerva cried hurrying towards Hermione. Remus cleared the table with a flick of his wand and Moody moved forward to place Hermione on it.

"Basilisk's venom" he gasped, "In the side. Someone better find Snape. We need Phoenix tears."

"Severus!" Minerva called frantically. "Severus!" she screamed. Mad-Eye looked around.

"Where are Harry and Ron?" he asked Remus.

"They are still on their mission" Remus told him, eyes glued to Hermione's still form. "Will she...? Will she live?"

"I don't know. The venom has had time to set in her system. We had to swim awhile to get back to the apparation point. It's been circulating in her blood."

"Did you retrieve the Horocrux?" Tonks asked. Remus shot a look of reproach at her. Moody nodded grimly.

Just then a white faced Severus swept into the room. His eyes widened at the sight of Hermione, unconscious on the kitchen.

"I have the phoenix tears" he told Minerva. "Where did she get bit?"

"In the side" Mad-Eye told him. Severus nodded and went and stood by Hermione. With his wand he cut away the clothing that covered the bit. It was already swelling and a purplish bruise color was spreading all over her body. Hermione's eyelids fluttered.

"Oh goodness, its you" she muttered weakly. She tried to get up when Severus pressed the phoenix tears into her side, but he pushed her back down. Severus avoided her gaze as he kept on applying the phoenix tears to her side, noticing with relief in his heart that her color was returning and the swelling was contained. "Severus" she whispered. Snape's shoulders tightened and an empty look came in his eyes.

Her eyes still glazed over, she looked at Remus, "Remus, will you feed my cat? I think he is hungry." Her eyes closed and her head fell back to the table with a thump.

"Will the Phoenix tears take?" Molly asked fearfully.

"Time will tell" Severus said tersely. "She is young and strong, so no doubt she will be fine." His voice was calm, but his heart had come to a stand still. Minerva nodded.

"How can you be so calm?" Lupin demanded. His face went red from anger. He advanced towards Severus, who stood his ground and gave him a patronizing stare.

"Get control, Lupin" he hissed. "Carrying on and letting go of your emotions won't help her survive." Severus said this in a cold tone, but his heart and soul were fused to that being that lay cold on the kitchen table. He knew that if she were to die, he would willingly follow.

"Easy enough for you to say!" Lupin spat. Tonks looked incredulous. Minerva reared her head like a charging lioness.

"Enough! The two of you ought to be ashamed! Ashamed!" Minerva looked like she was ready to pounce on the two of them.

"Hmmmff!" Hermione groaned, trying to get up from the table, "You all are bunch of pansy eyed gits!" Minerva pressed her lips together in a thin line and tried not to cry.

"Well said Ms. Granger" Minerva said. She gave a fierce glare to the two men.

"Molly" she called. "Help me move her to her room." Molly came rushing forward to help Minerva lift Hermione off the table, but Severus stopped them. He leaned over and gently picked Hermione up, carrying her as if she were a fragile doll. Remus gave him a dark look as Severus swept past him and up the stair case, Molly and Minerva in tow.

He left Hermione on her bed, crowded by Crookshanks and the two fierce Gryffindor den Mothers. He conjured up a chair and sat outside her door.

It seemed like hours later that Minerva and Molly were done with their ministrations. He could hear Hermione's voice in the hallway. It was weak but it was audible.

"We should have a meeting of the Order right away" he could her saying. Minerva came out of the room shaking her head. He heard Molly telling her that she needed rest and that they would have an order meeting tomorrow. After all, it was everyday that you were saved from dying.

"I'm perfectly fine!" Hermione shouted. Severus cringed. "We need to destroy it as soon as possible!" Severus cringed again, she shrieked this last part.

"Now Hermione" Molly said, " I think what you need most is rest. You know its not everyday that a girl can survive basilisk's venom." Molly came out of the room carrying a stack of sheets and towels, "Maybe this time you will think about getting a husband and a life for yourself before you go gallivanting around the world, trying to get killed!" Molly huffed as she she strode past Snape. He flicked his dark eyes at her, but she didn't seem to notice him. " She should have married Ron..." she muttered darkly as she went down the stairs. Severus watched her as she bobbed away angrily with a sigh of relief. He sat slumped in his chair, hidden by the gloomy shadows of Grimmauld place.

His mind was swirling with the image of Hermione laying weakly on the kitchen table, whispering his name. He thought that his heart had stopped when he had saw that she was barely moving. His mind raced over all the things that he had said to her before the mission, and for a moment his resolve had weakened and he wished that he could have taken it all back.

After awhile, he got up, waved his wand at the chair, and then left. He was just at the bottom of the steps when he thought he heard Lupin's voice. He scowled darkly and his hand gripped the banister while his other hand gripped his wand. Here he had just saved the girl from a fate worse than death, and she had the nerve to fraternize with that abominable werewolf, that idiotic marauder!

Severus turned on his heel and left in a flutter of billowing black robes.

"Are Harry and Ron back?" Hermione asked Remus. There was puckered frown in her forehead.

"No" Remus sighed. He took a seat in the chair from across her bed. "The Gods willing, they will come out of this alive." Hermione looked like she might burst into tears into any moment. Lupin worriedly got up from his chair and began to pace the room.

"I'm sure that they will get back safely Hermione. I am not going to offer you false words of encouragement and hope, but if there is a man for the job, its Harry. And you can rest assured that Ron will help him through it any way he can." Hermione nodded glumly.

"You should get some rest" Remus offered, "I know that if Harry and Ron were here they would say the same thing."

"Wait!" Hermione called. "When are they expected back? Surely you guys had all this planned?" Remus smiled sadly at Hermione.

"Always the organized Gryffindor. I wonder why the Sorting Hat never placed you in Raven Claw. Well if everything went according to plan... then they should have been back today...but we had discussed other timetables, should the need arise to stay longer..." Remus clasped his hands together and stared wistfully out the window. "It's beginning to snow" he murmured. Hermione glanced out the window and noticed the snow began to pile up on the window pane.

"Please Remus..." Hermione began slowly, "Did any other Order member go with them? I know that Harry is more than capable, but surely someone with more experience..."

"Kingsley went with them" Remus said. "But please don't ask anymore, this mission is top secret. I can't give you anymore information." Hermione nodded weakly.

"Its just that I can't help but worry. I am not with them. I can't look out for the two of them. We all know what Ron's like, and Harry is..."

"So much like James" Remus finished for her. "I know."

"He seemed the reckless type" Hermione said.

"He was. Him and Sirius were a pair I tell you. I was more like a tag-along, and then there was Lily..." Hermione watched him closely as his eyes shadowed over and his mouth fell into a frown.

"You remind me so much of her."

"Lily?" Hermione asked. Remus nodded.

"She was always the voice of reason. The only one ever to reach the two of them. To tell them no. And the they listened to her. We all adored Lily."

"She was beautiful. Harry showed us the pictures.."

"Oh yes, she beautiful like an angel. But there was more to her than looks. Her mind was beautiful as was her soul." Remus colored a bit as he leaned on the window sill, examining the falling snow.

"She was brave. Fierce like the Gryffindor lion you might say. The two of you are so similar..."

"I am not very brave Remus. I leave things like that up to Harry. It isn't brave to open up a book and find answers the easy way. Well perhaps if you were Ron that would be brave..." Hermione gave a dry laugh.

"Never doubt that the Order does not value your bravery and what you did today" Remus told her gravely. "You risked your life..." Hermione waved away his words.

"I risked nothing that I thought wasn't worth losing" she said. Remus looked shocked.

"You can't mean that Hermione. You are a lovely woman and a brilliant witch. You are so young, your life is stretched out before you!"

"My life and accomplishments mean nothing if..." her lip trembled as her throat constricted tightly, "It means nothing without love."

Remus looked at her carefully from his stance at the window. He watched the falling snow swirling gracefully in the air. It transported him back to happier times. Looking at the pure snow, he recalled Lily, young and vibrant, laughing with James in the snow. He recalled that it had been winter time when Lily was heavy with carrying Harry. James had been so worried about her slipping and falling that he had carried her every time she had set foot outdoors. Lily had laughed. The sound of her laughter was like silver bell. He sighed and then walked over to Hermione's bed.

Moving slowly as if afraid that he would hurt her, he gently grasped her hand and kissed it.

"You will always have love, Hermione. Always."


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry for the confusion about this story. But frankly I am going to take a writer's privilege and not tell exactly who she is going to end up with. If you have a problem with this, you can read the more mundane and predictable story and be content. I am truly sorry for the confusion and ...if I wasted anyone's time when they decided to read this story. But for all those who enjoyed my little story, thanks for the support and kind comments. Been going through a really rough time, break up myself...lol. Its very funny how life works.

Hermione waited listlessly for Ron and Harry to return. She wandered around the house, leaving half empty cups of tea in her wake. Molly followed after her, trying to coax scones and sandwiches down her throat, but to no avail.

She raised her eyes once or twice when she heard the whisper of Snape's robes, but then she kept mostly to herself. She would not greet him when he came to dinner, nor would she converse with him by any means. Her silence wasn't vengeful. It was thoughtful. She didn't meet his eyes. She couldn't. The pain she felt whenever she glanced at his face was searing. The back of her teeth hurt and her head pounded. After spending a few dreadful seconds in a room with him, she found an excuse, any excuse and quickly left.

She left her books unopened and ceased to smother her cat with the usual affection. Crookshanks followed his mistress around the house, whining piteously, but still she moved around restlessly in her trance like state.

If asked to describe what she was feeling, Hermione the unfailing bookworm had not the vocabulary to express her complete and utter despair. Her heart was torn in two. Her anguish over Severus's rejection of her and Remus's unexpected romantic overture ate away at her. She was pulled in a thousand different directions.

Remus's eyes, the color of soft tea, looked at her with longing and kindness. She found warmth she looked into them. They were so different from the coldness and anger she found in Severus's gaze. But still, something in the back of her mind nagged at her. She couldn't and wouldn't submit to Remus. Not yet anyways. She wasn't entirely sure what she was looking for anymore. She had been so willing to follow Severus to the end of the world. She had wholeheartedly believed in the notion that love conquers all, and time eventually heals all wounds. Hermione had lost faith in love, and could only trust that the last adage was true. Time was all she had now.

Remus watched her. His eyes followed her hungrily as she sat haunched over books that she failed to read. He watched her as she pushed plates of food away. He watched her as she sat by the window and watched the snow fall with mournful eyes.

He longed to comfort her. But she seemed so distant. She smiled at him kindly now and then, but it was an absent minded smile. Sometimes, he gathered the courage and grasped her cold hand. She let him hold her hand for a second, and then pulled away, murmuring some excuse about research. He let her go.

Remus knew that if he cornered her too fast she would balk. He could smell the pain that radiated off her was too fresh. He knew that she still carried feelings for Severus. Remus was often privy to Snape watching Hermione when she wasn't looking. These were close quarters and nearly everyone was aware of the tension between the pair.

Remus wasn't sure what had transpired between the pair. But whatever happened, he loathed Snape with every fiber of his being. Anyone who caused Hermione pain was an enemy to him. He was normally a mild mannered man, often seen as calm and intrepid, but when he thought about Hermione, the animal in him rose out. The wolf in him wanted her too. The wolf sought her as a mate and was jealously protective.

But who would she choose? Did her heart still belong to the potions master? Did Remus stand a chance?

"Hermione?" Remus asked. Hermione lay on a sofa in the sitting room, a book was on her lap and her feet were curled underneath her.

"Hmm?" Hermione murmured, not taking her eyes from the window. The light of the snow reflected in her eyes.

"You have to stop this, Hermione." Hermione's eyes lost that dreamy vacant look and snapped to life.

"Stop, what? Remus, what are you talking about?" Hermione laughed nervously.

"This!" Remus walked over to where she was sitting and gently closed the book in her lap. "You've been in a state of sleep lately, its like you are a walking corpse."

"Thats going a bit far" Hermione remarked dryly. She got up from the sofa and walked towards the window, her back turned to Remus. "I am worried about the boys. " She glanced up at the sky and saw the darkening clouds of a heavy snow storm.

"I am as well, Hermione. But you...there is no need for this... added grief. Everyone is concerned about you."

"Really? Everyone is concerned, are they?" she whispered, clutching the sill of the window with white hands. "And who is just everyone? Pray tell me. Is is Molly, wishing I had married Ron, or is it Mad-Eye, the keeper of Constant Vigilence, hating that I messed up on the mission, or perhaps it is Nymphadora...?"

"No" Remus shot forward and grapsed her arms and pulled her to him. "I must confess..."

"Oh my God!" Hermione almost fell to the floor, "Its Harry and Ron! They are back!" Hurriedly she ran from Remus and out into the snow.


	8. Chapter 8

"Harry, Ron!" Hermione screamed, throwing herself into the two boy's arms. The snow was slippery under their feet and the three of them staggered backward.

"Mione!" the boys chorused.

"Well?" Hermione asked breathlessly. "Everything went well I assume?" Ron started to say something but Harry shook his head.

"It went better than we expected...but no we did not succeed."

"What?" Hermione screeched. Ron fell over and slipped in the snow. Remus was watching the scene unfold from the window, discreetly hidden behind a curtain. He chuckled at Hermione's shrill tone.

"Jesus, Mione can you sound any more like my mother?" Ron moaned, massaging his sore derrier.

"Don't worry about it" Harry assured, his green eyes flashing behind his thick lenses. " I think we have it figured out." Hermione looked doubtful. She put her hands on her hips in the fashion of their first year when the boys hadn't done their potions homework.

"Honestly...just tell me!" she snorted indignantly.

"Can't" Harry grinned. "It will have to wait until the meeting."

"I'm starved" Ron said, slinging an arm around Hermione. She rolled her eyes and tried to shrug him off.

"Oh alright then. Have it your way Harry." Harry gave her a weak smile of relief and started up the steps.

"I'm glad to see you Mione" Ron said, as they went up the steps together. His grip on her waist tightened. Hermione tensed.

"Nothing like a life or death situation to bring out the romance!" she said with a half hearted laugh. They entered the foyer of the house and Hermione shrugged of his arm quickly. She didn't want him to get the wrong idea after all, or anyone else for that matter.

"I'm starving" Ron groaned, heading in the direction of the kitchen. Hermione watched him fondly, anticipating the loud shrikes of joy that would issue from Mrs. Weasely when she would have her youngest in her arms again.

"RON!!"

Hermione winced and then smiled. For all Harry's dignified standoffish stance, Ron's family was the antidote. Hermione understood what he was going through. The whole wizarding world was resting on his shoulders, but still she worried about the warmth receding from his tired green eyes.

In her distracted and heartbroken state, Hermione still found the selflessness to ponder and worry for her friends. She loved Harry like a brother. She, like Ron, knew the real Harry Potter. He was simply a boy underneath his honorable do or die facade, a boy who would liked more time to enjoy life.

Tugging at her scarf, she unwound it from her neck and shook out the stray snow flakes that had gathered there. Putting it on the coat rack to dry, she thought she heard a giggle coming from upstairs. The floor boards creaked and Hermione strained her ears as she listened.

There was another giggle followed by a flash of red hair.

"Ginny" Hermione thought. Then she smiled again. As long as Harry had Ginny, the there was little danger of the warmth truly receding from his soul. Harry could remain Harry if Ginny was near.

Preparing herself she went into the kitchen, which was steamy from cooking. Molly was beaming as she directed the cutting of turnips and other vegetables on the kitchen table.

"My Ron is back" Mrs. Weaseley chirped. "Hermione dear, check the stew, and give it a bit of stir. I don't want it lumping it up before dinner." Hermione obliged.

Ron was sitting at the kitchen table, basking in the attention of his mother, who had thoughtfully put out a dish of bread and butter for Ron's use. "Mione, Mum's making treacle tart. That's Harry's favorite."

"Oh Harry" Mrs. Weasely "That boy really needs fattening up. "

"What about me, Mum?" Ron lamented around a mouthful of bread and butter.

"You..." Mrs. Weaseley snorted "Have me. Harry doesn't have...Ginny!" Mrs. Weasley yelled. "Ginny! Come help with dinner." Hermione coughed nervously.

"Anyways" Molly continued, "Harry doesn't have anyone to take care of him properly. You have me for the meantime, " shooting a meaningful look at Hermione. Hermione flinched and drew back focusing on the stew.

"I think I will go find Ginny" Molly said. "Ron dear save room for dinner now. And Hermione watch the stew."

When Molly took the back stairs and disappeared out of sight, Hermione gave a deep sigh of relief.

"You know Mum's right."

"What?" Hermione's head shot up.

"She's right" Ron rubbed his arm thoughtfully. "She right that I don't have anyone to ..you know."

" To take care of you?" Hermione spat. "Clean your house, wash your clothes, cook?"

"Hermione, it wouldn't be like that. I know you are..."

"Something like less inclined?" Hermione sputtered darkly.

"Hermione. I know you and Severus are done."

"How do you know that? Who told you? Has he said any..."

"No, no" Ron pleaded. "Its been apparent before we left on our mission. For weeks the two of you seemed unhappy. Although I or anyone else would be unhappy shagging the greasy git..."

"Ron!"

"No Hermione hear me out. I know that you don't care for me as a lover. But I thought that with time...perhaps we could have another go?"

Hermione shook her head. "Some things and some people are not meant to be." Ron gave her a look and then sighed at the table.

"It must be this war. Danger and fear makes people want to take drastic measures." Hermione nodded. "Your still my best mate, besides Harry." Hermione laughed.

" A best that won't tell his other best mate what went on during your oh so dangerous mission!" Ron grinned.

"Harry's doing. He's been under a lot of pressure lately."

"We all have" Hermione pointed out.

"Yeah, well. Harry's having to take the heat of a leader. He let you go on that mission with everyone going bonkers and saying no, that it was too dangerous for you. But from the looks of it with you being alive and all, Harry was right." Hermione nodded again and then sighed.

"Yes, there is always the danger of a split within the Order. Harry took a chance." Hermione sat down at the table, facing Ron. The pots bubbled merrily and the vegetables continued their chopping, but underneath it all there was an air of uncertainty. Uncertainty is always tinged with impending danger.

"Dumbledore's been absent so often and it only seemed natural that Harry take the place as leader."

"Some people aren't exactly easy with that" Hermione said.

"Exactly!" Ron exclaimed. "We talked a bit on the mission, and we decided that people will think that Harry's showing, favoritism toward you and me, and Lupin as well."

"Thats ridiculous!" Hermione drummed her nails nervously on the table. "If they want to go on a mission, a life threatening mission, I might add, then they are all welcome to it! That is if they are qualified."

"Well" Ron coughed, " A few were a bit put out that Harry choose you!"

"But I am an Auror!" Hermione almost screeched. Now it was Ron's turn to wince.

"Well we know that. But some have a hungering for the glory of it all."

"Let them get eaten by a basilisk" Hermione snorted.

"By the way, how did your mission go?" Ron asked.

" We should all wait for the meeting"Hermione said in her sweetest voice. Ron rolled his eyes and grabbed another roll.

"Thats another thing. Harry decided to wait for the meeting to tell everyone the new, not just..."

"Yes yes, me and Lupin, isn't it?"

"Favoritism" Ron finished. He choked a large piece of bread but Hermion gave a hard slap on the back. "If we told you then we would be showing favoritism."

"Thats so stupid." Hermione hugged her arms to her chest and chewed on her bottom lip. "But its dangerous to have a split on the side thats suppose to be fighting for the greater good."

"Indeed" came Lupin's quite voice.


	9. Chapter 9

Ok thanks for all the positive reviews people. I appreciated them so much. Once again if you don't wand to read the story, then don't read it. Its really that simple!

"Bloody hell Remus!" Ron spluttered, spewing forth bits of bread and butter. Hermione laughed and shook off crumbs.

"And you call yourself an Auror" Remus grinned and took a seat across from Ron. Hermione felt her cheeks warming.

_"Stop, for heaven's sake! Stop blushing Hermione Jane Granger. You will look like some love besotted idiot."_

"Bread Remus?" Hermione offered.

"No thanks Hermione" Remus said, leaning on his elbows. He looked thoughtful, as if he weren't sure whether or not he should say something. After some struggle he began, "You know, Ron is not off the mark in that there is some kind of split going on in the Order."

"Told you so" Ron mumbled around his bread.

"That is frightening" Hermione said. She tapped her wand on the stew ladle and it began to stir itself. She walked two steps to the table and sat next to Remus.

"Indeed" Remus said. He sighed and the gesture seemed to age him. "What will the wizarding world do if they no longer look to Harry as the chosen leader? The chosen one who will save us all?"

"Surely they must see..." Hermione began but Remus cut her off. Ron looked impressed.

"No, thats the point Mione, they won't see. All they see is an unsure young...boy...not even a man, that is attempting to lead the way. Never mind Harry's past experience with defying Voldermort. You saw how the Rita and the rest of the wizarding media have managed to make him look like the fool."

"Who in the Order is starting this mutiny, Remus?" Hermione asked, her voice gone soft. Ron pushed away the rest of the bread and leaned closer to the pair. Remus sighed again and looked pained.

"Tonks and Shacklebolt."

"But Mate, we are in it together..." Ron began but Remus cut him off.

"I know that. You know that. But _they_ don't know that!" Remus sighed and Hermione saw that he looked very tired. "Hermione took a great risk in doing what she did, going after a basilisk again in her life..." Hermione murmured protest.

"Crikey! Mione, so you went at a Basilisk? Me and Harry thought that we would have all the fun" Ron joked.

"Its not funny" Remus snapped.

"Sorry Remus" Ron colored.

"Its what I am Remus" Hermione began " I am an Auror after all. I went through the same training that Tonks went ..." Hermione's voice faltered. She tapped nervously on the table and then jumped to her feet. "Better check on that stew, Molly will kill me if there are lumps in it."

"Really mate, Hermione can handle her own it seems. We went through Auror training together and trust me, she's really wicked with..."

"Thats not the point" Remus countered wearily. "All over a few jealousies, something like this rises up..." Hermione coughed nervously into her hand.

"Honestly Remus. I am not all that. We all do what we can for the Order. Thats why we are in it after all."

"Don't try to sound so self degrading Hermione. You know better than anyone involved the risks that members take. "

"Yes I do" Hermione said quietly. "I know the risks and _sacrifices_ well." Remus made a move as if to get up from the table and comfort her, but Ron was there, staring at the two of them as if they had grown bat ears.

"I wonder what's taking Mum so long" Ron complained. "I am starving"

"Bet she can't find Ginny" Hermione said with a smile. She knew what Ginny, and Harry, were up to.

Remus coughed. "Anyways, I think the two of you should know what social peril you are in." Ron looked at his empty bread plate with mournful eyes.

"Mate, we know. Hermione and me faced all sorts of peril, social or not since first year. Its no news to us."

"I'm just saying, " Remus said in an agitated voice, "For God's sake don't rock the boat that much at this meeting. _The Order_ is in peril if Harry is not shown the proper respect of a true leader."

"Don't worry..." Ron said. Hermione snorted.

"Thats like asking the sun not to shine. I know what you mean Remus. But I think that this can't be helped. As much as Dumbledore goes on about preserving the Order and asking for togetherness...a few people are bound to go their own way. Not everyone is a Grffindor. Fear will make them abandon the right course. It can't be helped. We have the majority..."

"But for how long, Hermione?"

"Remus" Hermione's voice was kind, "don't become a pessimist."

"I am being practical."

"As I am. A few jealousies, surely aren't enough to over turn the whole of what we've created. People are bound to realize the greater good. Just because people don't feel..." she looked at Remus searching for the appropriate word, "...appreciated, I am sure its something that we can rectify." She gave him a meaningful look. Ron caught sight of this and his ears turned red.

"I can start with stepping down from my position. Its not like I contributed that much after all. Let someone else have..."

"No Mione. What would we do without you? Who can be trusted?" Ron interjected. "Harry would definitely be saying the same thing right now if he were here." Remus glared daggers at the young red head.

"You want for her to be in danger, again and again Ron?"

"Look Remus, Hermione is an Auror. Don't forget that."

"You will still be in danger Hermione. You just under took a seriously hazardous mission that no one in their right mind would willing accept. You were lucky to come back alive. If Harry were to lose you..."

"What then?" Hermione questioned. Her eyes were shinning orbs of golden honey. Ron coughed nervously.

"I think I am going to get Harry" he cast an unsure look at the pair and then scrambled to his feet, almost knocking the chair back. "Okay..." He left the room in a hurry. Hermione stared at Remus.

Remus stared at Hermione.

"I know...that you are an Auror." Hermione nodded.

"But the Order, Harry...no I couldn't stand it if we lost you." Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"This isn't helping the situation Remus. We all took an oath when we joined. Everyone must and will face perils. I am no exception."

Remus made a movement as if to rise once again from the chair, but Hermione stopped him. She covered the stew pot with a lid and stepped towards the doorway.

"Remus, you and I both know that there is a war going on. I've learned...no I experienced that certain...things must be put on hold." Remus started to speak but Hermione cut him off. "No, Remus. I know what I speak of. Perhaps in another time and another place, I would be more open and willing to these feelings." She turned her brown eyes to his grey ones. "But I am afraid, that whatever that it, must wait. Wait for this war to be over. I am sorry." She grabbed her wand and left Remus sitting at that table.

"But I don't want to wait" he said.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey everyone, sry for the long wait. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

"Its been decided that Horocruxes may not be enough" Harry said. There were several loud gasps from the Order. Harry fidgeted nervously and pushed up his glass rims. He tried to stand up straighter as he addressed the room of Order members. "That is to say, while Ron and I were on our mission, we discovered that simply destroying the parts of Voldermort's soul, are not as...effective..." Harry's voice fathered. The Order went silent, staring at him, waiting for him to continue.

"You see, when we sent Hermione on her mission, we sent her with the hopes of visibly seeing some kind of change in Voldermort. While she finished off one Horocrux, we were destroying one as well. There should have been some of crack...something apparent." Snape snorted.

"Yes?" Ron growled at Severus, "Have you something to add?"

"Haven't you bumbling idiots paid attention to anything Dumbledore told you?"

"Look mate, I haven't seen you go off on some crazed mission, sacrificing..." Ron began before Snape whipped out his wand and pointed it in Ron's face.

"Don't say anything to me about _Sacrifice_" Snape hissed. Hermione reached for her wand on reflex, preparing herself to set up a shield between Severus and Ron but Remus caught her hand. Gently holding it in his own Remus spoke.

"Now now children, let Master Potter finish his lecture before we go blowing off each other's appendages. Save some for the Death Eater's revels, I'm sure." Snape shot Remus a look of pure hatred.

"Harry, do you actually mean to say that destroying the Horocruxes is no good?" Hermione asked, trying to get back on topic.

"No, no!" Harry protested. "It is vital to our plans. It will always be vital to our plans, Its just that it got a bit more complicated."

"Complicated?" squeaked Flitwick, perched precariously on two huge tomes. "Come now, spit it out boy." Harry flushed.

"We discovered that Voldermort went beyond using special objects and Nagini. It turns out that Voldermort has went beyond the magical number seven and made his Horocruxes thirteen instead. Seven objects, plus six people."

"Impossible" Hermione breathed.

"With the Dark Lord, everything is possible" Snape glowered. "We must continue on as before, except this time we have to narrow out people. This makes everything more difficult."

"The Death Eaters?" Harry questioned.

"Look we just have to pick off Malfoy and Nott and ..." Ron rattled off names but Snape stopped him.

"Assuming that they _are _in his inner circle" Snape said, "But lets take the time for an educated thought and ponder what if they are _not_ among his favorite Death Eaters. What then Mr. Weasely?" Harry sat down in his chair and looked tired.

"That all depends on if he knows that we are looking" Hermione said. "He made the other seven objects rather obvious. What if we send in some spies..."

"We already have spies" Minerva said.

"We should press further into his very innermost circle" Hermione said.

"We are already there" Remus said with a look in Severus's direction.

"Go in deeper, I say" came Tonks voice from the back of the table. Her sugar pink hair was deep purple today. She had been sitting at the far end of the table with Kingsley. Althrough the meeting she had been quiet until now. Giving a silent nod to Kinglesly she stood up.

With slow even steps, she walked over to where Harry had stood. "We need something better than Severus. After all, he changed sides during the last war, I'm sure he is never as far away from being suspected by Voldermort. Thats how Voldermort works after all. Like a big spider waiting to catch prey in his web, even the the vermin that that spin their webs alongside him. Don't you agree Severus?"

"What is your point?" Snape growled.

"Just this" Tonks said sweetly. "Let me go in. After all..." She laughed, "I am an Anamorphagus. It should have been apparent before."

"_Yes_" Hermione said, "Tonks does have a point, however we don't want to blow our cover. One wrong move and we are discovered. Severus has knowledge of Voldermort's world. If you were discovered, Voldermort would suspect..."

"Who is to say that he doesn't already Hermione?" came Shacklebolt's voice from the far end of the table. Minerva straightened her glasses and said briskly.

"We must not risk whatever hope of censureship we have already. The last thing we need is for him to begin suspecting Severus in earnest." Casting a look of warning at Kingsley, Minerva went on, "Whatever we do, whatever we act upon, it must be cast in light of the whole Order. We do not act upon one wizard's command. Severus is too valuable for us to lose."

"He choose his path knowing what kind of peril he was in for Minerva" Kingsley said, trying to stay in good humor.

"I believe I am sitting at this table" Snape began.

"Of course you are Severus" Minerva absently said, steeling her gaze on Shacklebolt.

"I agree with Minerva" Molly said abruptly. Minerva stared at her, as did Snape.

"I agree with Minerva" Mr. Weasely seconded. Flitwick nodded rapidly.

"As do I" Remus said. Soon the whole Oder broke out into loud talk. Tonks walked back to her seat and sat down heavily. Chewing on a piece of hair, she looked ready to spit nails.


	11. Chapter 11

Sry about the mistake. I will fix it eventually. For the life of me I couldn't remember what she was. Thanks for the reviews. I am trying hard to do as much as I can!! Still not sure how the story is going to turn out.

"Research" muttered Hermione, rolling up her sleeves for the tenth time as she _accioed _a huge tome from the top of a dusty shelf. She directed it to towards the stacks of books she had already accumulated on the table.

Squinting at the bookshelves, she tried to think if she had missed anything. "_Whatever I miss I don't have time to get it later. Better get it done NOW! Don't get addle brained Granger!"_

Stretching a bit, Hermione walked towards the table with hardened resolve. For the past week she had been steadily going through the Library at Grimmuald Place. It was an impressive library. Nearly all of the books were duplicates from the ones in the Hogwarts Library. Dumbledore had worked hard to ensure that the library at Grimmauld place held all the books that they hoped to need in their fight against the Dark Lord. Order members, like Remus, Severus and Flitwick had been generous in lending from their own special collections, books that would have been hard fast to come buy, even at Hogwarts. At first Hermione was impressed, but now she felt overwhelmed.

Despite Minerva's warning about blowing their cover, the Order had managed to agree that they should at least scout their perimeters of Voldermort's territories where his followers were the most concentrated. All of them agreed to this, except Kingsley and Tonks.

There was a heated argument with much shouting on Tonk's part, and many ominous silences and looks from Shacklebolt, but majority ruled . For now anyways.

It could not be forgotten that Kingsley was still very much in power at the Ministry. He was their last link to the Wizarding government. If the Order rallied too hard against Kingsley, they would lose his valuable services.

"The Wicked Rue Circle..." Hermione read, "...was a wizarding society that only allowed purebloods. In 1600 they were disbanded. Is that too early to locate some of Voldermort's followers?" she mused to herself.

Hermione was doing research on Voldermort's followers, trying to determine who was of enough importance for Voldermort to implant a part of his soul.

Hermione quickly scanned the rest of the page and tossed the book in her "maybe" pile. The "maybe" pile was the pile that she would have a look in later to see if there was anything that she could have missed.

"One thing's for certain, Voldermort would never stoop to make a mudblood his horocrux" she muttered as she tossed " Muggle-Born Wizarding Societies" behind her shoulder.

"Oomph!"

"Oh goodness" Hermione spun around. "Remus! So sorry. I didn't see you there." Remus held up one of his hands in mock surrender as he used his other one to rub his ribs.

"That was quite a book" Remus said with a wince. Hermione frowned.

"I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have crept up on me. Here sit down." Flicking her wand at a chair, she cleared it of all books. "I'm really very sorry, but I could have thrown it harder you know."

"Is this what they are teaching at the Auror academy. Attacking with books?" Remus joked, lowering himself into the chair. "Its impressive. Could change the whole way we fight this war."

"Hmm...indeed" muttered Hermione, forgetting Remus for a moment as she eyed a book that she had just cleared off the chair.

"You need to take a break" Remus told her.

"Yes" Hermione muttered as she picked up the book and begin to flip through its pages.

"Hermione!"

"What?" she snapped, nearly dropping the book on her toe.

"Take a break." Hermione bit back a sharp retort and then gave a heaving sigh.

"Oh, fine. For a moment anyways." Remus watched her with narrowed eyes as she cleared off another chair for herself.

"You know you are working yourself to death in here."

"Here?" Hermione sputtered. Waving her hand over a pile of books, Hermione laughed exasperatedly. "This is nothing new Remus. We have been doing this all last year. Research, Research, Research." Hermione tapped her wand with each repeated use of research.

"I know that, Hermione" Remus said gently, " but we also_ took breaks" _ Hermione looked affronted.

"This is _important!_ And we haven't any time to lose. We are completely lost in the dark as to who these six people are." Remus leaned over several dusty books and grasped Hermione's hands.

"We have all been working hard, Mione."

His hands, Hermione noticed, where rough and rugged. Many of the nails were snagged and broken and there were small cuts on his palms.

"Has your change been hard this month?" she questioned. Remus saw her staring and moved to shove his hands in the pockets of his robes.

"No more than usual. Please don't change the subject, Hermione"

"Its the least I can do" Hermione sighed and fiddled with her wand. "I know research is one of my stronger suits, but I feel the need to do something active. I would have asked Harry for something along those lines, but he has so much on his plate right now. Still I was a bit put out when he chose Tonks instead of me to go on the scouting trip."

"It was no picnic" Remus offered. Hermione glared at him.

"Did Severus go?"

"No, he did not" pausing, "He had other things to do" Hermione looked steadily at him.

"Such as?"

"You would have to ask him" Remus said carefully. Getting up from her chair, Hermione brushed at her robes with her hands. The air was dusty in the library.

"I need to get back to work" Hermione said without looking at him. Remus rose.

"I could help" he told her.

"No, I don't think you can" she told him with a strange look in her eyes. "That is, I think I have it covered."

"Right then" Hermione turned her back to him and began going through the books. She felt his eyes on her, but she didn't turn around.

"Don't work too hard" he told her, and she felt his breath tickle the back of her neck. She felt movement in the air and then the door closed. Clutching a crumbling tome that read "_How to Rot your_ _Enemies_" she shivered.

_"So confused!"_ Her mind screamed. Dropping the book on the floor she sat down again, robes swirling around her.

Time had made it easier to bear Severus now that he...now that he didn't want her. But still her heart twinged on the rare occasions that she saw him.

She rarely ever saw him anymore.

She wondered if he took special pains to avoid her. That would be like him.

Her mind wandered back to the earlier days when they had just started seeing one another. It was uncomfortable. She had Harry and Ron threatening to strap her to a chair in order to lift the Imperius curse that they felt that he had put on her. Molly was down for the count and Minerva was in...shock. Absolute shock.

The only one that seemed to take it well was Dumbledore. His pale blue eyes had twinkled at the sight of the pair.

Still the pressure on them had been intense, and Hermione felt it most keenly. Severus had long been use to people ostracizing him for this reason or that. If anything _he_ had been annoyed that Hermione let it bother her so much.

"I had hoped that you were adult enough to make your own decisions and stand by them" he told her one day after she complained about Harry and Molly harassing her.

She had stared at him, thinking fast for some angry remark to fling at him. He stood watching her, and for the first time, Hermione felt her lack of years.

"I have to go" she murmured and ran out of the room. Severus made no movement to stop her and said nothing as he watched her go.

In a haze of confusion, she had wondered Diagon Alley for hours, thinking on Severus and what he told her. Her cheeks still burned with shame. Perhaps she was too young for this after all.

For Merlin's sake, she was an Auror! She was trained to tackle Banshee's and Dementors, and here she was cowering from Molly Weasley's remarks!

The more she thought about it, the more she was ashamed. If Severus had been able to withstand the pressure, she should have as well.

Hermione remembered feeling that she should do something to show Severus that she wasn't about to give up on him. Impulsively she ducked into an Apothecary shop and went to where they had preserved flowers magically suspended in the air.

She choose Blue Forget-Me-Nots, even though the shopkeeper protested that they were not unusually magical and were used only for making an exquisite blue-ink.

"They are not used magically much, unless you are aiming to make a love potion" he told her with a leer in his eye. Love potions were illegal.

"No, I am not" Hermione told him firmly. The very idea!

She had rushed home with them in her arms. Hermione got caught in a light drizzle, but the flowers remained protected in her arms. That was all that mattered.

The flowers were not crushed from their journey home, instead they had small drops of rain on them. Hermione didn't bother to dry them. She thought that the drops of rain made them look almost jewel like. She cast a strong preservation charm on them so that they would stay just as they were, drops of rain and all.

She found a large leather bound journal that she had never gotten around to using and bewitched the flowers to lie individually in each page. She cast a spell so that when one opened the journal, the flowers would lift gracefully in the air and float gently in small circles.

Remembering Flitwick and his penchant for detail, she went a step further and cast a melodiyc, a charm that made the flowers emit a silvery tinkling sound.

When it was all finished, she thought it was a bit much, and almost reconsidered giving it to Severus. But she did it anyways, even though she thought that he was going to throw up from all the sentiment.

But he didn't.

When she nervously thrust the book into his hands, he looked taken back.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Its for you" Hermione had murmured, turning a deep shade of red.

"For me?" Severus said, clearly puzzled.

"For you"

"I see" Severus looked questioningly at the leather bound book in his hands. Carefully, he opened it and watched as the blue Forget-Me-Nots floated out. They flew gracefully around the pair, circling them and making the silvery tinkling sound.

"You made this for me?" Severus asked. "Why?"

"I am sorry for earlier. I should not have let it bother me that people were bothered by us." Severus looked at the blue flowers floating in the air. Hermione looked at the ground.

Severus reached out and gently touched one. "They are beautiful Hermione. I will treasure this forever. Thank you."

Hermione remembered that he then drew her to him and kissed her. They kissed in the circle of Forget- Me- Nots.

A tear dropped onto Hermione's lap. Impatiently she wiped her face.

That was then. This was now.

Now Hermione was alone. Alone in a library full of books. None of them containing blue flowers that sang a silvery song.

Feeling the tiredness of the week over take her, Hermione curled up in the armchair, and cried into her arms. 


	12. Chapter 12

"Hand me the Tannis root, Ron" Hermione ordered. She was standing over a bubbling cauldron, carefully stirring a purple brew and trying to keep count of each rotation. Ron was leaning against a table and whistling absentmindedly, trying to ignore the stench of the potion and the foul mood that was concentrating around Hermione.

It wasn't working though.

"Now!" she snapped irritably. Her hair was starting to cling to her forehead in wet curls. Ron grumbled under his breath but handed the roots to Hermione.

"Honestly Hermione! I don't understand why you are doing this. Severus is perfectly capable of making these potions. Its not required from you."

"_Severus_ is not _here_" Hermione said through gritted teeth, "Now the Mollask's powder" Ron handed her the tin and continued to stare at her.

"You are scary whenever you do potions work" Hermione threw him a scathing look.

"Just because you were not able to get through the Newt course doesn't mean that everyone in the whole wizarding world has to be a complete dunderhead at it."

"Emulating the greasy git! Ugh" Ron shuddered.

"Why don't you just get out?"

"Aww!! Mione, I was only kidding, sides, mum will have my head. I promised her I would help."

"Well" ushering Ron to the door "You are not helping. I can tell you that much." Ron threw up his hands.

"Please Mione!"

"No. Get out. I have work to do." Ron sighed

"Alright. Merlin, woman, take a break." Ron walked away, hands shoved in his pocket, muttering "Mum will kill me if she keels over. Blimey." Hermione bit the inside of her mouth and went back to the potion.

This was the tricky part. The potion was in it's transition phase. Any wrong or over hasty movement of the stirring rod could result in disaster. It had been a long time since Mione had made this particular potion. It had never been a familiar one to make. Severus had always taken it upon himself to make this potion. It's transitional phase was too tricky for a novice like Hermione. However Severus was not here, and neither was Minerva. Molly was only too glad to hand off these first-aid potions to Hermione when she assured her that she was able to do them

She _was_ able to do them. That is to make them correctly, only she wasn't too sure she could complete the potion without singing her hair or burning her hands.

"Oh damn! Damn! God's bullocks!" Hermione hopped around the room holding her hand, using her sleeve to wipe away the excess potion that bubbled over, burning through her skin.

"Oh, I wasn't careful enough!" Hermione fumed, still hopping around trying to cool the angry burn that was now blistering on her skin. "Shit!" she hissed as collided into a footstool. Hermione swerved and lost her balance, ending in a heap of robes, desperately trying to cradle the hand that was now blistering.

Just at that moment, Remus walked in. "Hermione...Merlin! Are you alright?" Remus rushed to her side and dropped to his knees.

"Tricky transitional phase" Hermione told him, still cradling her hand. The blisters were starting to bubble.

"That looks nasty" Remus said as he helped her to sit. With her uninjured hand, Hermione rubbed the back of her head.

"I am not used to making that potion" she admitted "Still, I was sure that I could get past the transitional phase passably enough"

"It looked like it survived" Remus said, looking at the potion, which was bubbling and turning a deep green. "I know a thing or two about potions, Hermione. You could have come to me for help."

"It was suppose to be a relatively easy potion" Hermione said through gritted teeth. The skin on her hand was stretched and shiny. The burns looked horrible.

"Let's get you something for that burn" Remus got up quickly and rummaged around on the table, lifting vials and checking their contents. "I'm no Mediwitch so I won't try for a too elaborate salve, but this colts foot mixed with juniper and mint makes a passable burn reliever. I would give you something that it make it go away right away but I don't have the time and you are in pain now."

Hermione smiled and tried not to cry, the burn stung like hell.

"Here you sit in this chair" Remus helped her stand and guided her into the chair, " ...and I will have this salve ready for in no time." Hermione tried to look grateful.

Despite her pain, Hermione watched Remus work. Like he was in DADA, he did his work with precision and some grace. He worked confidently, occasionally glancing at Hermione to see how she was doing. He saw that she was watching him, and this did not matter in the least. In fact, he rather liked it.

"It's done" he told her, bringing over the salve in the mortar bowl. " I am so sorry that its a bit elementary, but it should help with the pain."

"Please don't be sorry. I am so grateful. Really you have no idea. This stings like hell" Hermione bit her lip and blushed at her outright use of profanity but Remus only smiled.

"Here" Remus started smoothing on the healing salve with the gentlest touch of his fingers. Hermione held her breath as he touched the bubbled skin. Remus looked at Hermione's honey brown eyes in concern.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked quickly. Hermione unclenched her jaw and let out a breath.

"No. I can feel it working already. The pain is receding." Remus's fingers continued their gently ministrations.

"Thank you Remus."

"No need for thanks. I hate to see you in pain, Hermione." Hermione blushed and kept her eyes lowered.

"Perhaps" Remus began slowly, " You can ask later for a more advanced potion adept at preventing scaring. I'm afraid this will only sooth it."

"Mmm" was Hermione's non-committal reply. Remus stopped and looked at Hermione. Her eyes were still lowered. Quietly, he put down the bowl and wiped his hands off. Gently, ever so gently, he placed the tips of his finger on her cheekbone. The edges of his fingers grazed her face. To Hermione it was like being caressed by the sunlight on the first day of spring.

"I would never want to hurt you, Hermione." Hermione didn't move, but she flicked her eyes upwards and met Remus's gaze. His eyes were a whirlpool of cloudy storms. Dangerous, yet inviting. Hermione twitched. Her injured hand still throbbed, but her other hand longed to return the caress.

"Remus...I..."

Just then the door of the makeshift laboratory blew open. The potion texts that had been lying open on the table shifted their pages. Hermione and Remus both looked up in surprise as Severus stalked in.

"Oh goodness" Hermione muttered sarcastically. Severus stood looking in his severe black robes like some mid-evil figure of doom.

"What are you doing?"

"I was finishing a potion." Severus inhaled sharply and his nostrils quivered.

"What is that on your hand Miss Granger?"

"A burn."

"How did you get this burn?" Severus asked, his black eyes glittered dangerously. Remus growled. The potions master whipped around to face the Were-wolf.

"I did not ask you Dog!" Remus started forward, whipping out his wand. Hermione glanced between the two men.

"Please, Severus. We were just finishing up. The transitional phase was a bit tricky and it burned my skin..."

"What did you use on it?" Severus asked, ignoring Remus and striding towards the table. He lifted vials up and glanced at the mortar bowl that was at Remus's feet.

"Pathetic" he said. Remus started forward again but Hermione clutched his hand.

"When_ I _am able, _I_ will fix a remedy that will take out the scarring. When _I _am able. In the meantime, Remus has been most generous in his time and made me something for the pain. Is there anything else I can do for you Severus. Perhaps you would like to help us clean up?"

"I was merely returning to finish these potions that Molly asked me to do. Perhaps you were not aware that she asked me first? No, I think not."

"I think..." Hermione began measuring her words carefully, "That Remus and I will clean up. Sorry for beating you to the potions, I know how much you love a challenge." Her brown eyes looked at Remus. "Shall we bottle it? Or perhaps a stasis?"

"Leave it to me, Hermione" Remus assured. "You should go get some dressing to put on the burn." Hermione looked at Severus, who stood looking a lethal serpent.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I will bottle the potion and clean up. Rest."

Hermione unclenched his hand and got to her feet. "Goodnight Severus" Snape made a rigid movement as Hermione swept past him. She opened the door and stepped into the dark hallways of Grimmauld place. The two wizards listened to her retreating footsteps.

"We need to talk" Remus told Snape. Severus curled his fingers into a fist.

"Obviously."


	13. Chapter 13

Sry for the delay. Still thinking of how this is going to go.

"Ermm...Harry?" Hermione questioned, hovering in the doorway. "Fancy a word?"

Harry was sitting on his, looking complacently at his firebolt and just generally looking...well _glowey._

_"_If its about the meeting then no" Harry told her.

"Oh honestly Harry!" Hermione reproached. "Who am I going to tell? Kreacher? Mundungus?"

"No its not" Harry laughed, but the glowey look was beginning to desperate. "Its just that theres that favoritism..."

"Tonks" Hermione snorted. "I can't believe...no actually I can". Harry looked at over his glasses.

"She's jealous" he said quickly. Hermione stared at him wordlessly.

"What?" she finally spluttered.

Resuming his polishing, Harry said calmly "Oh don't be a bloody fool Mione."

"What?" Hermione spluttered sighed and set down his broom.

"If brains like yours are going to mush then Voldermort's definitely got the upper hand now. Don't be a bloody fool, Mione. Surely you must see how he fancies you. He watches every move you take you know."

"You've been away for so long..." Hermione tried but Harry gave her a look and _accioed_ a fresh polishing cloth.

Picking up his broom, he began polishing again, "Its not a bad thing, considering its over with Snape, Mione. Remus is brilliant. He is kind and..."

"He is Remus" Hermione finished. Harry looked away from his broom and gave Hermione a thoughtful glance.

"Yes he is." Harry pushed his glass up further and rubbed his forehead. "He is Remus. Our Remus. Not some slimy greasy haired git..."

"Hey! HEY!" Harry tried to look sheepish but failed.

"Look Mione, I am not exactly faulting you for your shagging preferences..."

"Gah" Hermione staggered and then turned a puce color. "You...filthy minded boy!" she sputtered.

"Well" Harry "Whatever. We are glad that its over with. I guess then I was faulting your 'preferences'. Snape! God. Each time I think of it my stomach turns. Snape!"

"Don't then" Hermione said coldly."I don't turn a hair over your shagging Ginny all throughout the house. Including my bedroom yesterday!" Harry turned red and hastily began throwing his polish and clothes into his broom kit.

"If these walls could talk! They would say Ginny and Harry Potter defiled this room at a quarter past six! Honestly!"

Harry slammed the kit down with a bang and stood up. Grabbing his broom he made for the door. Hermione tutted impatiently and tapped her foot. He was red in the face when he stopped at the door. Giving Hermione a good stare, "It doesn't matter how many rooms Ginny and I choose...never mind! It doesn't matter. What matters Hermione is that you don't string him along!"

"String him along? Thats...!"

"Exactly the point" Harry finished. "Don't Hermione. Just don't. You know what you are capable of doing. Merlin knows that if I hadn't forced myself to have only sisterly feelings for you last year...but I am with Ginny and I love her. I do truthfully. Theres something about you Hermione that catches a wizard by his bullocks..."

"So I am only good for a quick turn around in the sack? Thanks Harry." Hermione tried to look amused but was looking hurt.

"No no" he amended quickly. "Its more than that. You are more than that. You are beauty, brains and heart."

Better stop that or I will find Ginny waiting for me in a dark corner" Hermione quipped. Harry smiled and moved to hug Hermione but she stepped away. "Oh Harry, I am not stringing him along! Surely you know that. I hardly had a clue as to if he liked me. I thought that he seemed sad and a little hung up on the past."

"We are all a little hung up on the past Mione. But the way he watches you, thats present enough. He watches you like you are the only thing in this world that matters."

"I think he is missing your mom."

"What?" Harry asked, surprised.

"Yes. Lily. Your mother. I don't think he has gotten over her."

"Remus and my mother? I wonder that Sirius never told me."

"Best friends, remember? Like we are? I fancy Sirius and Remus guard each others secrets, like all best friends do."

"I suppose. Remus and my mother."

"Yes, Remus and Lily."

"I am going to find Ginny, Mione. See you later." Hermione nodded.

"She never got have her word with Harry. He gave her all of his and left so many empty spaces."

Later....

Hermione tried to keep on eye on Remus. She watched him as he gathered papers from the table from a previous meeting. Molly had been nagging everyone to clear the table for dinner. She offered him to help but he just gave her a shy smile and said he had it.

She watched him throughout dinner, noting that he declined the minced parsnips and took an extra helping of the buttered string beans. She was so intent on watching him that when Ron spilled the boat of gravy onto her lap, she hardly noticed.

Ginny watched Hermione with raised eyebrows throughout dinner. She had encountered Harry in one of the hallways and promptly dragged him into a closet for some 'alone' time. Their time had been pleasing but there was something about Harry that Ginny could not put her thumb on until she...well put her thumb on him and made him tell. The truth threw Ginny into a world wind of of probabilities. In her mind's eye she saw witches fashion magazines and bridal dresses. She imagined Hermione in a pleasing slip of gown in front of a fire place with Remus on front of her on bended knee.

There would be books strewn about because those two loved that sort of thing ( further validation in Ginny's mind that they were made for one another) and Hermione would say yes and the two of them would have mad sex on a coffee table. Maybe a book or two supporting them.

"He likes me" Hermione told herself. "He likes me? How could he?"

"He loves her!" Ginny thought triumphantly. Her face flushed with color. Harry looked at her uncertainly, wondering what was going on.

"He likes me" Hermione continued with her train of thought. "He likes me. I could do worse. His face is so kind." Remus paused in mid sentence and clutched his fork and looked at Hermione. Hermione coughed nervously and turned to Ginny.

"Gin...I..."

"Of course!" Ginny said happily.

"What?" Hermione asked, perplexed. She hadn't said anything yet.

Ginny winked and laughed at Hermione like she had said something funny. Harry slumped down further in his chair.

"Ginny, I..."

"Sure sure. Right after dinner."

"Err..." Harry said. Ginny turned to him and whispered in his ear.


End file.
